What is a Gibor?

This is not a full Gibor Manifesto. That is still in progress. I’m just trying to get things rolling.

Iyar plays a big role and wanted to get the message out before the month ends.

With Hashem’s help, here goes.

“Who is a Gibor?” Avos 4:1.

This is the central point of Gibor. I believe that this little Torah from Pirkei Avos is the point where real growth happens in a world that changes faster than you can blink.

Before we get to the Gibor, we need to clear the playing field.

The Problem With Honorifics

In our frum world today, we have these titles, or honroifics, we give our fellow Yidden.

Ben Torah, Talmud Chacham, Askan, Baal Habus, Gvir, Baal Middos, Baal Tzedakah.

Gadol.

These are beautiful ways we describe other Yidden. They are ideals we strive for, as we should.

They are ideals Frum Yidden care about. Our version of mastery.

It's a beautiful thing.

Gym Bro isn't on that list, although exercise is a good thing and maybe you should be eating a little less sugar.

Neither is being a player, mogul, tycoon, or sex symbol.

Those are not priorities for Yidden.

It's about Gadlus and Shleimus. There is something undeniable in the soul DNA of Klal Yisroel that we care about striving, about growing.

Yet, there is one idea that seems to thread through these titles we use. They all point to a level achieved. A state of being.

Each of these descriptors carries a sense of having gotten where they were supposed to go.

Which is precisely the problem.

We don't have ways to describe someone on a journey.

Let's look a little closer at the Ben Torah. The words mean a son of Torah or one who puts Torah as the main priority. Making Torah living a goal, perhaps not there yet but on the way.

Beautiful.

The Talmud Chacham is a student of wisdom.

So, you’ll ask me, “We do have titles for those in the process of achieving. What are you going on about?”

The truth is, those are levels in and of themselves, are they not? The Ben Torah has his direction. His compass is already pointing due north. He’s already going the right way.

Yet what about those who see the ledge as too far up the mountain to be worth climbing?

No Name for the Climber

How many guys do you know run screaming from the Beis like it's trying to collect rent?

Are you one of them?

I know there are many times I’ve felt like this.

There are many times I’ve felt that none of the titles we have in our collective arsenal apply to me.

Maybe I’m too hard on myself, but the effort doesn't always seem worth it.

I can go on about the community, our obsession with crafting a perfect picture of ourselves, the obsession with money, being the master learner, the best machmir, and all these external things.

There will be time for that later.

Right now, I’m talking to you, to me.

Are you feeling the fire of Yiddishkeit? Are you proud of what you have achieved, no matter what Yenim has or does?

The titles and the big goals are great, but only if your heart is aligned with Hashem and on fire.

If you don't relate to those titles, what gets you going?

Where are your reserves of energy to propel you forward and fight another day?

Comparison Is Poison

It's so easy to look around and see yourself disconnected from the klal.

Endless comparing to others who have made it, whether in klei kodesh or parnassah.

The silly thing is that those people you are comparing yourself to most probably feel the same as you and are comparing themselves in the same way.

This sense of never being where you want to be is slowly killing you. Hollowing you out from the inside, like a slow-burning acid.

We need a paradigm shift.

We need a banner to rally behind.

The War Never Ended

Look to the hands of Moshe raised in the air, reminding us that Hashem is with us. reminding us to stay in the fight.

See, that battle with Amalek never ended; it just paused for a bit. It starts up now and again with varying levels of difficulty and scale.

The war still wages on.

And as you know, the battle with Amalek is doubt. Doubt about Hashem, about yourself, about what you are made of.

You think you need to look at those around you to measure your own value because you doubt yourself at the very core.

I don't think we need to change what we have.

I think we need to add a new perspective. Not a new Torah, but a return to that part of Torah that made us fighters.

A revival of that part of us that flowed like fire in our veins.

The blood of Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Moshe, Aharon, Dovid, and Yosef.

We are them. We are more than caricatures of a failed Western dream of security and prestige.

There are those who seem to never forget how to hate us fear us and plot to kill us. You only want to kill what you fear.

Do you feel like something worthy of fear?

Medicority, Nothing Worse

Or are you a mediocre version of a man? Always kind of getting there but comfortable in the sameness. Grasping your comfort zone like a ratty security blanket, for dear life.

My rebbe always says, “They’ve either called us the worst vermin on the face of the earth, or we control the world’s banks. All hateful lies, but they’ve never called us mediocre!”

Yet today, our communities a drowning in boring mediocrity.

And no, I do not mean a revival of the JDL.

We do not wage war like the so called warriors of the world do. We do not accumulate power and resources because we can, because we think it gives us freedom.

We wage war in the way Hashem tells us, for His name alone, in the ways His Torah taught us.

Glory Is a Lie

כה אמר ה׳ אל יתהלל חכם בחכמתו ואל יתהלל הגבור בגבורתו אל יתהלל עשיר בעשרו: כי אם בזאת יתהלל המתהלל השכל וידע אותי כי אני ה׳ עושה חסד משפט וצדקה בארץ כי באלה חפצתי נאם ה׳:

(ירמיה ט: כב, כג)

“Thus said Hashem: Let not the wise man glorify himself with his wisdom; let not the strong man glorify himself with his strength; let not the rich man glorify himself with his wealth. For only with this may one glorify himself - contemplating and knowing Me, for I am Hashem Who does kindness, justice, and righteousness in the land, for in these is My desire - the word of Hashem.” (Yirmiyahu 9:22,23)

The Zohar teaches that each month of the year has a Tziruf, a formulation of the Shem Havayeh. Iyar is י-ה-ה-ו.

Each formulation is related to a pasuk with those same letters. We use these formulations in Musaf of Rosh Chodesh.

The verse for the Tziruf of the month of Iyar is יתהלל המתהלל השכל וידע, For only with this may one glorify himself - contemplating and knowing Me (see the pasuk above).

Only in the pursuit of knowing Hashem may one glorify himself. Not in one’s own wisdom, not in one's own strength, not in one's own wealth.

Man was made for glory.

It is in our bones. It is the most natural thing to desire it.

And it is precisely why Hashem showed us a way to embrace glory but in the right way.

Wisdom, wealth, might. They can never be truly one’s own to take glory in.

Those are fickle things. Those are like pillars of smoke.

From afar it looks substantial; as you get near, it billows away.

Even Torah Can Be Added To The Rat Race

The world demands and expects we stake our lives on material gains like it's going to save us. It's all just smoke.

So many men pursue these, remembering Hashem just enough to retain membership to the club but forgetting Him in all the ways it matters.

So many frum men revel in their wealth or even in their Torah learning, lording it over others. So many spend their lives trying to acquire empty things. For what?

And the rat race. Dont think we are immune to this. We added Torah learning to the mix as well.

Like a rat in a wheel running, running, running, never getting anywhere.

It's all retch and no vomit.

Hevel Varik.

There is a stoic lesson that brings this point home, like a hoof to the face.

One who rides a horse and thinks himself grand is a fool. It is only the horse that is grand and majestic. The rider who takes majesty from the horse takes something that isn't his own.

Like buying a Porsche to show you made it, but you are the same sad soul you always were. Or a new electric Hummer, God help me.

The great lie of this world is that you think you can gather glory for yourself in these hollow things.

Kinah, Taivah, and Kavod take a person out of this world.

Why? Because something that has no substance itself can never provide you with substance.

When you pursue these, you pursue nothing, and so you become nothing.

Empty, like a pit with no water.

Many find success in their gashmi pursuits, and they become hollow men.

This is not a rip on wealth or status. You can have might, wealth, or wisdom if it's directed like a laser to carve away the shallows.

The point here is to force the question. “Is just having it the only goal?”

Glorify yourself with knowing Hashem; this is the only thing you can take for yourself. Everything else that comes along is in service to this goal.

Only One Thing Can Be Yours

Hakol Bidei Shamayim, Chutz M’Yira’as Shamayim.

Everything is in the control of Heaven, except for awe of Heaven.

There is only one thing in this world that can ever be truly yours.

The glory found in Hashem.

That is the only thing you can really control, or ever own.

So what do we fight for?

What is the battle if not these external things?

What do we need to become to say we are truly alive?

" אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ,"

“Who is a Gibor? One who conquers his nature.” (Avos 4:1)

Not one who has conquered, but one who is amid the conquering.

It's a name for one who is still in the arena.

Battling for Kvod Shamayim.

Battling the Nefesh Habahami that wants comfort.

Battling the yetzer that tells you that what Yenim has is what you should have.

The inner trappings of your natural human self that can’t see past its own Daled Amos.

Whether in pain or comfort. Rich, poor, in klei kodesh, a baal habus, none of those, all of those, it doesn't matter.

You are a gibor fighting for the only prize worth fighting for.

Reaching past the boundaries of this thickened world towards the only thing you could ever truly control.

Yira’as and Ahavas Hashem.

Stay In The Fight

No matter what level you are on, you are a Gibor.

You are a warrior still in the fight.

Even if you are on the first rung of the ladder.

It's a title for those who are in the Shetach and don't have time to compare or strive for meaningless things.

In the heat of battle, there is no rich, poor, popular, nebach, clever, or simple. Only the soldier to the right of you and the soldier to the left, and together you focus on the same goal.

If you have just stepped out onto the field, unslung your shield, and hefted your sword, waiting for the first moment to strike, you are still a warrior.

The source of the strength in your hands is not the intellect, power, or wealth you wield in this world; it is your Yiraas Hashem.

It is knowing Hashem and his ways of Chessed, Mishpat, and Tzedakah.

I may not be a Talmid Chacham or an Askan, but I am a Gibor.

This is my program. To learn how to stay in the fight.

I may go down, but I won't go down without getting a few punches in.

Not anymore.

And truly, with my vision firmly set on Hashem, who is with me and is taking each step forward with me, I can't lose.

With Hashem, you can't lose.

This is the entire goal and purpose of Gibor.

Truly, this is the entire purpose of my being.

Trying to figure out how to stay in the fight.

Join me, and we’ll train together.

I need it just as much as you do.

Today we begin.

Your First Assignemnt

Here’s a quick drill, a one-minute kibush.

Sometime today, a tiny impulse will pounce like a poisoned dart to the back of your neck.

Your thumb may twitch toward your phone at a red light, or worse, in the middle of mincha.

Your hand may drift toward that cookie you need like a hole in the head.

Your mouth is loading up a juicy story about what's his face, who’s at it again.

The second you feel it, freeze; delay the moment.

Pull one slow breath through the nose, four beats in, four beats out.

Under your breath—or just in your head—tell yourself, like it's the only words left in the world.

“I am a Gibor; Hashem, you gave me this urge so I can conquer it.”

When the smoke clears, tell yourself, “Baruch Hashem, still in the fight.”

Sixty seconds, tops.

Training starts in the little moments. One tiny victory can shift your mindset from a lost and confused soul to being a Gibor.

Today a cookie, tomorrow an all-night seder, or the apology you’ve dodged for months.

Welcome to the fight, soldier.

Now, off to battle.